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雅思5分作文范文分析

作者: 2020-07-24 17:27 来源:郑州编辑
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很多G类考生的目标分数是总分5.5,小分5。小编整理雅思5分作文范文分析,供大家参考。

题目:In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing.

What do you think are the main causes of crime?

How can we deal with those causes?

范文:

I am going to write about how the amount of crime is increasing in many countries and why.

Nowdays there are many countries has increasing on the amount of crime and I think the problem is that most of crim has done by the young people which is under 18 and from the age you can see and you can understand what is going on but in my openion I think the main causes is the family and the school, the family I mean the mum and dad they have to look after theire tenagers until they grow up and do not let them watch films which has a fight or blod, the school is the same as the second house for the tenagers and they have to teach them how to grow up in good way and teach them how to respect the old people.

雅思5分作文范文.png

For example I have been told from my oldest brother that in the UK 2 year ago a boy from Qatar he is 16 years old has killed by groube of tenager in Haisting and they killed him withough any reasons and when the Police asked them why did you do that they said we want to show of we are the best. So you can say they learn from the action movies.

Finaly I hope all the people can help the tenagers to give them advice and to let them know what will happen after the crime. Also in schools they must teach them how to avoied the bad movies and to grow up in safe way.

264 words

评语:考生回应了问题的两个部分,但主要观点和立场的拓展不足,没有清晰的结论。论述逻辑不够好,句子之间连接不流畅,各段缺乏明确的主题。词汇很有限,替换不多,拼写错误多且明显,导致读者理解困难。句型变化不多。用了复杂句但是错误较多。存在标点错误,大写字母和句号使用不当。

以上是对雅思5分作文范文分析的介绍,希望能帮助到大家。

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